Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
