I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
