Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
