I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
