6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Did I show you my penis last night?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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