paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
