Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize