I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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