I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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