is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
