I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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