Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
