No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
