i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
