you guys were way drunker than both of me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
