So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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