Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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