i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
