i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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