happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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