So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
