Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Panties = found
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
