how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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