i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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