I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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