Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
