Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize