i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize