I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
