So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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