you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
