Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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