you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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