why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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