scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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