first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So apparently I’m into choking now
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
