I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
my liver is dry heaving
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
