I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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