Will you blow on my dice?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
