HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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