I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
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you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
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My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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