So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
