if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
