I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
