apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
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I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
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you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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