the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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