Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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