Whod you bang
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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