yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize