Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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