How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
