I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
