If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My ass is underappreciated
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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