ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
