I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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