She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
