I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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