I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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