Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
