the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
