They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
