I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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