Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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