Me too!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
