Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
