omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
