Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I want a musical about memes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
