I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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