Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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